She ran as fast as she could and jumped over the fence of the waterfront, the waves sprinkled on her face before her body sank in the sea, the current embraced her soul, and she completely caved, letting herself get engulfed by the stream. There she might find the peace she craved in the land […]
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Daylight

She ran as fast as she could and jumped over the fence of the waterfront, the waves sprinkled on her face before her body sank in the sea, the current embraced her soul, and she completely caved, letting herself get engulfed by the stream. There she might find the peace she craved in the land of the living, there, no sound could disturb her, not her inner voice, nor the screams inside her head, not the yearning in her heart.

She woke out of her trance, Hamed of Mashrou’ Leila still carried on with ya ba7r, the song coming out from the music player on the night stand next to her. His voice deep, gravelly and exhilarating, creeped into her soul, played on the strings of her heart and awoke in her the most intense feelings, went deep into the core of all her desires, fears and everything she longed for. Feeling a wet drop fall into her ear, she realized she was silently weeping. She wiped her face and let out the breath she was holding for a while now. Entangled in the sheets, her hands clutching a book she faintly tried to read, her legs hung high on the bedpost with her hair tousled carelessly on the mattress. The air in the room was hot and sticky, and a sheer layer of sweat shone on her forehead, just what she expected when deciding to lie down, mid summer day at noon with no electricity to turn on the air conditioning. When turning around, she couldn’t escape him. Although he was gone for a while now, wherever she turned in her house she vividly felt his presence, his smell on the bed sheets filled her nostrils, his laugh echoed in the kitchen, the football cheers and the beat of the drums reverberating from her living room. He was still around her, next to her in the dullest of her daily routines.

There were times when she hated him for it, death was peaceful, but her life now was unbearable, she buried her heart and soul with him in that grave, slipping in the mud that rainy day of February. She never got used to it, the idea of him gone. Just when she thought she finally accepted the fact, reconciled with it, it just hit her all over again, that same shock as the very first day after the funeral, when she came back, chucked her keys in the door and stepped in, switching on the lights of the empty hallway and emptier soul.

 

 

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