Sometimes, even when you know something’s a mistake, you got to make it anyway. I can’t pin point the exact day I realized I was in love with you; it might have been a Thursday though for I always liked Thursdays. This realization anyway didn’t just dawn on me, there were too many blocked thoughts, […]
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Old Self

Sometimes, even when you know something’s a mistake, you got to make it anyway. I can’t pin point the exact day I realized I was in love with you; it might have been a Thursday though for I always liked Thursdays. This realization anyway didn’t just dawn on me, there were too many blocked thoughts, an oppressed inner voice and suppressed feelings, things I could no longer hold back or keep bottled up. The outcome was just the same as the mess you get when you shake a bottle of soda then suddenly opening its tap. Feelings of love, anger, lust and jealousy came pouring out of me, flooding my life and carrying me with the flow.

She wrote this, she intended to send him a long letter explaining her weird behavior and unjustified madness. Recently, she had totally lost her poise, going extremely mental; One day she was herself, the calm nonchalant girl, and then suddenly she became neurotic, willing to hire a hit man for every female that tried to impress him, and standing on the ground floor of his apartment when he decided to ignore her messages.

She tried and in vain to take a step back, to store everything back in, to seal her feelings away. She couldn’t turn her back on her best friend and leave, little prince couldn’t convince her to, not even the whole world was able to make her let go. She loved him, missed him, and that feeling was killing her, it was soul sucking, heart wrenching, physically painful and mentally damaging for her.

Two weeks of sleepless nights, day dreaming and solitude, she thought she was getting better at living without him, that what she was doing was best for everyone. She had a tired smile on her face talking to her friend on the phone while waiting to finish work, when, somehow, miraculously, after she lost her breath, closed and opened her eyes, gulped whatever air she could get inside, she still heard his voice in the background on the other end of the line.

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