Léon: You need some time to grow up a little. Mathilda: I finished growing up, Léon. I just get older. Léon: For me it’s the opposite. I’m old enough. I need time to grow up. A literary drought, that’s what I’ve gone under for the last three days, when I decided to sit down, and […]
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So… Yesterday was my Birthday!

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Léon: You need some time to grow up a little.
Mathilda: I finished growing up, Léon. I just get older.
Léon: For me it’s the opposite. I’m old enough. I need time to grow up.

A literary drought, that’s what I’ve gone under for the last three days, when I decided to sit down, and write my birthday reflections, but the main question remained what was I going to write about?! I’m a September born, I share my Birthday with two people who could simply symbolize my early life; Roger Waters, the main reason I was inspired to go into social work, trying to change the world, and up against the corrupt system, and John Dalton, the pioneer chemist, and one of the first people you get to learn about in school in science class. So… Yesterday was my Birthday, and I’m no longer 23 years old, strolling through my 20s and given that life goes by with the blink of an eye, I will soon enough be gliding towards my 30s; since I’m a true believer that age isn’t really about numbers, people though, keep reminding me of the fact that I’m no longer a child, that I have responsibilities now, but hey wait a bit! I’ve had responsibilities thrust upon me from early age! nothing is going to change now, I’m the same grown up teenager, turned into a grown up young adult.

Dear 4 years old self, Happy Birthday! I was the cute little sweetheart of the family, a bit wiser than my age, given that I was raised upon grown ups, sitting in when grandma and her friends gathered for morning coffees, nipping at the cookies served and the gossips of the neighbours and family members, the latest trends and fashions, then I remember when mom would come pick me up at noon, after she had just finished work, go back home, sit down next to my brother and sister doing homework, in complete awe of papers and books, pens and pencils. My homework would be over by then, simple alphabet and numbers, and it would never be enough..

Turning 24, I feel like I’m consumed with a deluge of nostalgia and emotional reminders of two consecutive decades, of growing up and growing older, of physical and emotional changes, of several metamorphoses along the way.

Dear 14 years old self, Happy Birthday! I miss you greatly, but I wouldn’t want to be you again. I know I always yearned to be 24 when I was with you, but the great level of personal, emotional, and intellectual growth that I got under in the last decade, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I remember how proudly you stood, going into high school on the honor list, how you held your chin up high, and yelled on top of your lungs for freedom and justice in the toughest days our beloved country went through, and I remember how you started to auto analyze yourself, assess and extract all your weak points, eliminating them one by one, your were your own worse critic, and was really tough on yourself, and this might be what I regret more, not being wiser to tell you that it’s alright to be wrong, that it was acceptable not to be perfect, but you dreamt big and for that I am always in debt for you, hope I’ve made you proud over the years.

Through all the ups and downs of this journey, two decades have passed, and it’s been a tremendous learning experience. Though you never stop learning, I’ve certainly made a great number of discoveries about myself, about relationships–both personal and professional, and about our beautiful world. This past year was a roller coaster by itself, I’ve gained and I’ve lost, I’ve had a lot of happy moments as well as unhappy ones, few of my greatest joys in life turned to be what brought me down, and a lot of unfortunate events shifted to happy endings. Life is always changing, and though physically I might look the same – lost the weight, regained it later – and emotionally – going through many unstable phases, I’m not the same person I was last year. I had a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of soul-searching, and on the first day, of my 24th year on earth, I can say, that I have never in my life, been this satisfied with myself; satisfaction for Virgos and me personally never comes easily, as one scarcely encounters it anyway. It’s been a year of transition, of reflection, of learning, I learned to cherish the fact that I was alive, and living my life fully, and that with it I should embrace all the parts of my being, of course there would always be the tweaking and enhancement, perfection is always my goal, and I never aim lower.

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