“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better […]
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There’s A Light That Never Goes Out

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“My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.
~ Falsely yours”
― Charles Bukowsky

We’re raised to believe that we are born to do great things in life, some people inherit their greatness, others work hard for it, and many of us shed their great dreams, hopes and aspirations bit by bit as we grow up. One day though, while lying on our backs enjoying the sun, cocktails and some light reading, we rise to see that our backyard is full of weed, a brown dying lawn because of a terrible drought, we look to the other side, and realize the green glossy lawn our neighbor has. We’re struck by reality, and stand mesmerized by the lawn on the other side, we keep fidgeting anxiously, wanting to get there, instead of getting that whose and start watering the withering parts of our life, the desiccating aspirations. Death, the thing we’re born to fear, is secondary to many things in this world, and we’re so busy trying to live our lives to the fullest, that we miss out on great opportunities, that we numb our brains to small meaningless moments.

A human being though is not structured to give up. Most of us continue to survive because we’re convinced that somewhere along the line, with grit and determination and perseverance, we will end up in some magical way where we wanted to be right from the beginning. It’s a fallacy, of course, but it’s a form of religion. You have to believe. There is a light that never goes out and it’s called hope. We hope, that one day, we will live the fairy tale, in an unbreakable union with somebody, that we will excel in our careers, go up the stairs to the very top, that life, will do us justice, and before the curtains close signaling our end, we will live our happily ever after. Hope, is the opium we get high on, it’s the straw, that once broken, you dive deep in despair until you suffocate.

Most of this made so much more sense inside my head anyway, for me, life is that one night stand that manages to collect its things and leave before you even had the time to wake up. It leaves us with a major headache, dazed and unaware of our surroundings, it consumes us, and then..

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